Friendship is a true gift. There is a saying that you cannot choose your familyfamily, but you can choose your friends. We all have different kinds of relationships, and true friendship stands out.
Your Equation on the Personal & Professional Front
Our relationship with our family is based on love, but here, too, there can be expectations and certain perceptions. There can be anger and disappointment when we don't meet our parents' expectations. Frustrations may end in confrontations. There are rules, and we need to abide by them. Otherwise, it may end in conflict. Sibling rivalry and jealousies are not new. Regardless of all these factors, families operate on the foundation of love, which may seem like taking each other for granted on the surface at times.
You may have a bad day at school when you need to remember your homework, are punished or score poor marks. Although they know what is best for you, it makes you afraid of the anger and frustrations your parents may vent upon you.
At work, sometimes things can go wrong. You may make mistakes, or there may be negligence or oversight on your part. Your superiors are dissatisfied with you and express their disappointment. You feel at a low ebb, and nothing seems right for you.
Your spouse may need to be more understanding; sometimes, differences can crop up. There may be conflict, and you need help handling it. Sometimes, you are tired and depressed or are dealing with the loss of a loved one. Life can be challenging, and you have to put up a brave front and overcome everything.
Friendships are different. Situations and circumstances may change, but true friends do not. They are the one constant in our lives; when formed, they are the best support system!
Why True Friendship is Important
Through good times and bad, true friends will stand by you. They may not have the authority of their superiors at work or the jurisdiction of their parents at home. But they are the one constant you can turn to when all else fails.
There are different kinds of relationshipsrelationships and love, but friendship is unconditional. True friends will never judge you and accept you the way you are. You may need to improve, and some areas need correction. But in times of need, you can see a true friend who will stand by you and understand you despite whatever happens when no one else will! They will support and pull you out of trouble or a low mood.
In friendship, it is good to understand who cares for you and those not interested in being your friend. You should be friends with someone you come across and would like to have a friendship with. But be sure they want the same thing and are showing interest, too.
How to Figure Out if Somone Wants to Be Your Friend or Not
Some signs may indicate whether or not they want to be your friend. We all co-exist as humans, and it is natural to crave company. Making friends is a part of social life, and we make friends across different phases of life. Sometimes, school friends may become lifetime friends. In other cases, it may be someone we met at college.
Office colleagues can gel well, start coming together beyond work hours, and spend time together over weekends. This could be a double whammy: They may become good friends, and you may enjoy better compatibility and communication as work colleagues.
Signs Which Tell You Who is Your Friend
There may be several times in your life when you came across someone who you felt could be your friend. However, it is essential to gauge if they are interested in being your friend first.
Lack of Communication
Are you the one who is calling your friend and likes to have a nice, long chat? It may be evident that you are trying to keep in touch. Your friend may not reply. They may only reply if you ask a specific question. Or they may barely reply. At other times, they will do nothing.
If you constantly call or send messages, it may be a warning sign. They may be unable to answer or respond to your calls or messages, and they may need to be answered. This clearly shows a need for more interest.
Are You Reaching Out First Always?
Life is busy as it is. Do you initiate the calls all the time? Are you always the first one to call? Maybe you send messages on essential days like Friendship Days and other occasions. You may or may not get a reply. They either ignore your messages or take too long to reply to them.
Disinterest & Lack of Enthusiasm
But your friend is either replying in monosyllables or keeping their responses short. They do not sound enthusiastic while replying and seem to be playing along. Otherwise, they may find an excuse to cut short the conversation. They don't seem interested in anything special happening in your life.
Do they keep a distance from you? You may be eager to share things with them. Perhaps you are happy about something that happened today. Or you feel low and want to talk to your friend and voice your feelings. Your friend may show little interest in what you want to say. Friendship is a two-way street, and you deserve better.
Cancelling Plans or Making Excuses
Call them at your place and buy a movie or match tickets. Your friend may have agreed to come, but at the last moment, they back off, giving the most irrational excuses not to show up. You may wonder why they decided in the first place.
These excuses can damage your friendship and your well-being. They can make you feel you have no priority or importance in their life. Remember, the effort is all yours. If this behaviour is a pattern, it is not a mere symptom but a red light flashing the danger signal!
Reserved & Formal
In real friendship, friends use relaxed language and light-hearted banter. You are very casual when you speak. However, the comfort zone is missing when your friend hesitates and asks permission to say something or uses polite language as they would with an acquaintance.
They may use clipped or formal language that may seem strange to you as this is supposed to be a friendly conversation.
Expressionless & Emotionless
Friendships have emotions, and if you see no sign of joy, excitement, or genuine love in your friend's eyes when you meet, you know the vibes are cold, and there is no genuine warmth in those eyes.
They may need to meet your eyes adequately and put the least effort into conversing with you.
There may be awkward silences you cannot place your finger on, and any attempt to continue a conversation may fail.
Being Indirectly Rude
You can examine how your friend speaks to you and listen to the tone of their voice. Your friend might direct some barbed comments, like making indirect statements that may be rude and put you down somehow. Their remarks may be harmful or slightly offensive, leaving you feeling undermined or unvalued in this friendship.
Although such comments from your friend may seem in jest, they carry a severe undertone that can undermine your friendship.
You Make All the Efforts
You may check on your friends to see if they are doing well, send them gifts, or provide backups if they are away from home. You are doing small but significant things that count. You do things in a way that shows you care.
If you make all the efforts and feel the whole equation is imbalanced, you are the eager beaver showering one-sided affection and concern. You have yet to learn how your friend perceives your actions, as they are short on their responses.
They Focus on Their Interests
Your friend may tick some boxes that friends usually do, agree to meet, and respond to calls. But you may be more aware of their presence in the friendship regarding what matters. Your friend may make it one-sided by talking about their week, achievements, and struggles and going on and on about it.
You may be like a sounding board, trying to get a word in. It almost feels like they couldn't care less about how you've been coping. An interaction should be a therapy session where you are the silent listener.
They are Always Busy
While some people may be busy, if they can't make time for you, they are not bothered about you. Eben, if this person says they are your friend, they don't mean it. They can't make the time. This attitude should make you realise that they don't care much about making for you, even in little ways to show they care about you.
Lack of Engagement on Social Media
Most people engage in social media nowadays. This may not indicate that they are not your friend, but if they do not acknowledge your posts or stories, even less fail to respond to your comments, it could mean they don't want to be seen with you in that space. Even if they are shy about social media, they can still respond by texting you.
Ways to Handle a One-Sided Friendship
True friends are those who stand by you no matter what the situation. They are the ones who ask about you, be there to share your laughs and celebrate your success, and place their arm around you and support you when you need it the most. It is vital to see who comes into your life and whom you choose to include in your inner circle.
When someone doesn't treat you like a real friend would, it would seem like you are in a one-sided friendship. You can tell by their indifference, actions, and words that they don't care about you. Only some people can be compatible with you and be your friend.
When they show such disinterest and send signals of not wanting to be your friend, you need to heed the signs, no matter how bad you feel. You can focus on diverting your energy to those more receptive to your gestures of friendship. You can take this as an opportunity to appreciate those who are reciprocating, stick by you, and show they care.
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