Friendships are precious. Only a few people accept us the way we are. But good friends do. Besides, they are always there for you, cheering you on during your highs and comforting you during your lows. But in today’s world, good friends are like needles in a haystack. It’s also a fact that some people pretend to be your Friends because they want to take advantage of you or maybe because they don’t want to tell you openly that they don’t really want you as a friend.
Why Recognizing True Friends Is Important
Most people are social animals who seek the company of their own kind. However, as you grow older, it becomes more difficult to find like-minded people.
There are times when you may wonder if someone whom you consider a good friend feels the same way about you. Maybe you are the one who makes all the effort to maintain the relationship, while they seem rather indifferent and lacking in initiative. This is a sure sign that they are not keen on being your friend and don’t really value your relationship.
There is no point wasting your time and energy on people who don’t value you. It is better to let go of such friendships for your own good.
Relationships change over time, and you may find that people who used to be more invested in the relationship start to become more distant.
Being friends with insincere people only damages your self-esteem, so here are a few telltale signs to make out which people are not your genuine friends. The signs may be obvious or subtle, but do not ignore them as your well-being may depend on it.
Signs of a One-sided Friendship
You Make the First Move Always
People can be very busy, but if you are always the one to make the first move by calling, texting, or emailing them, it means they don’t care.
They could also be unavailable most of the time. Either they don’t respond to your calls and messages promptly, or they take a long time to get back. In other words, you're the one who reaches out always, while they make no effort to be in touch.
Lack of Enthusiasm
You can also make out an insincere friend by looking at their responses during your interactions.
If they tend to offer one-word responses to your questions, it means that they are not very excited or happy to hear from you. It is very probable that you initiated the interaction first.
Indifferent or Rude Behavior
How a person speaks to you can reveal how they feel about you. Friends tend to use casual or informal language, crack jokes, etc. But it is not an encouraging sign if a person adopts a formal or official tone when speaking to you or responds in a stiff or clipped manner. Sometimes, they may even make rude or snide comments that denigrate you. Even their jokes can sound negative.
Trying to Avoid You
One painful sign is when they try to make excuses to avoid you. Do they keep coming up with excuses each time you try to meet them? Some will agree to meet you but cancel at the last moment, leaving you in limbo. Such things are detrimental to the friendship as well as your well-being. You are never a priority for them, which really hurts.
Putting in Less Effort
We all do things for our friends. It could be babysitting their kids, watering their plants, looking after their pets when they go on a holiday, checking in on them when they are unwell, etc. However, if your friend seldom reciprocates in kind, the friendship is imbalanced and one-sided.
Ignoring You on Social Media
Failing to acknowledge or respond to your stories or posts, ignoring your messages on their social media, etc., are red flags. It means that they don’t wish to be seen as your friend in that space.
Treating You like a Soundboard
Do you get the feeling that you are just a soundboard for your friend? In other words, you hardly get to say anything during the conversation because your friend keeps talking about themselves
all the time. Which means they don’t care about what is going on in your life.
A real friend will give you the space to talk about yourself.
Conclusion
If such signs are present in your relationship with someone, they’re definitely not keen on being your friend. This may disappoint you, but you need to move on and seek fulfilling and supportive relationships. Good communication, mutual respect, and shared interests define good friendships. If these are lacking, you need to exit the relationship.
The important thing to remember is that if someone is acting as if they don't wish to be friends with you, there is no need to feel bad about yourself.
Some people are not compatible in terms of temperaments. Or, there could be other reasons that are not conducive to your friendship. Learn to accept it and focus on people who are more into you. It will also make you appreciate those who genuinely care for you. In the long run, it is better to steer clear of people who do not value you
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